confusion , obsession , ditermination ?

life is so unpredictable . as you think all is going fine, someone comes by you and takes EVERYTHING away. ever felt like you had one opportunity at your feet you are the happiest thing alive , and just when you share it with someone it is all SHATTERED ! they don't believe in you they don't share that glory you want to share . they are more concern bout how it will effect them and not giving a damn about you. sometimes you feel like just packing your bags and just fly somewhere where nobody knows you exist . nobody knows there is such and such a person.
just when you think that person is you best friend , she turns her back and says erm ... i never really thought of you that way but yeah we do have things in common. just stab me for god sake lol. i am not being dramatic but seeing how life evolves around us and changes us. i thought i had met the perfect guy. As years when by i realise he was my FREAKING COUSIN that i could never have a relationship with. how can something so god and perfect be taken away from you that instance just like that ? how can life be so cruel ? lol

i guess that is what makes me the person that i am today. people i never took notice of.. and suddenly the next day i go to school i find my friends crying at the school gate cause HE"S GONE ! but no ! i just spoke to him yesterday he cant be gone ! how can god take someone so young and so dedicated . i guess god sent us here he can take us anytime .
ever had the fear of losing someone. no i am talking about your GF or BF there are other more important things in life that your so call love. i recently also realise how precious is YOUR life. if you cant love yourself enough how can you claim that you love someone else. even though i have been leaving by this rules this years of my life. but there comes to a point where you just break down and let it all out. i am so glad to have a friend to be with me all the time. even thought it maybe be just one or two friends. i rather have only 5 god friends who ADELE not just by name but also care for me rather than having a million friends who knows ADELE as just oh yeah i know that girl Adele .

life is never about quantity its about quality. you may have all the richest in the world but poses nothing in life. you think you never liked someone so much before. then as low as you try to keep something . the other second the whole world knows about it . you just feel like packing your bags and RUN and never come back . the pain and the embarrassment you feel everyday walking and facing them , just going on acting like you don't know they know. acting like i don't know YOU KNOW . i know it is also an embarrassment on your part aspeciallt to face your frinens . to know a girl like me could me could like a guy like you. god help me even i dont know. i cant answer that question. mind you, you aren't brad pit.

seeing my friend hurt so much make me feel like WHY PEOPLE HURT is it worth it. then someone told me . sometimes you are so in your comfort zone you need to learn the hard way even if it is taking away part of your life .

20 years of life . everything that happen to me made me the person that i am today . i may not be perfect i may not be mother Theresa. but all i know is no one owns me but me. i live by my rules . nothing or no one can ever change that. i cannot be weak i cannot let anything hinder me from the truth . sometimes we need to tights slaps on the face to make us " WAKE UP AND SMELL THE COFFEE" life may seem cruel at times. but remember what goes around comes around . its not a song . its life. its a circle. no one goes around doing wrong , runing away from the truth , hurting people will ever live peacefully.

friends are one thing i cannot live without . but sometime i ask myself how many friends do i really have ? can i even count ? can they even fit my ten fingers ? wait can they even fit one hand ? i know alot of people . alot of people know me. even wonder what people say when they hear your name ? oh Adele that bitch or oh Adele that girl or oh Adele that mean thing. sometimes you just wonder how much you appreciate your Friends do they do the same for you ? how much you sacrifice for them will they ever do the same for you. are they friends ?

how do you define Friends ? someone who knows you just by your name ? someone who knows every detail bout you ? someone who just goes to the same college as you and attend the same class and SOMETIMES go out and hang out with you and other friends . i never thought life was this complicating . its so sad to have a blog sometimes cause you feel that its the only thing that you can talk to. without is calling you stupid or a moron back at you lol .

ever thought you were the only one on earth that was different or u just did not fit in and just wanted to go like " GET ME OUT OF HERE" well i was always feeling like that till i met real friends who were like me . from personality to humour and someone who accepts you for you, and not having you to change.

i am just happy where i am not today. i have people around me that i can trust . people i love. i guess some things that happen to you in life ls just LIFE. if not for all these things there is no LIFE right ? well ... i am sorry if i had offended some of you people .. well all i know is if you are not guilty then you're free . i don't mend to make you fell bad. i just feel like letting out everything . lol sorry.